Trifecta of Terrible – Knowing

I’m a Nicholas Cage fan, but occasionally he does movies so stinky they should be buried or burned. Unfortunately, Knowing is one of these.

There are three things I don’t want to see in my SciFi movies.

  • Mysterious beings communicating in overly obscure hints, and clues, and symbols, when they could just tell people what was happening instead.
  • Mixing Sunday school lessons with aliens.
  • A plot that starts with real world father and son, numbers, patterns, and big questions and ends with [[spoiler alert]] glowy, implausible spaceships and the tree of knowledge in an idyllic alien landscape.

This movie was such a disappointment, that I was actually grateful for the distraction of the really spectacularly grizzly deaths in the disaster scenes.

What are the movie tropes or techniques that signal a movie is not going to be on your thumbs up list?

24 thoughts on “Trifecta of Terrible – Knowing

  1. One of the tropes that cause spastic facepalm for me is that humans will evolve into space aliens–because freaky-deaky space aliens were here before us. That’s essentially what spoiled the last Indiana Jones movie for me.

      • Oh I MUSt agree whole heartedly with that one! I can’t STAND the Pyramids were built by space alien stuff… for SOOOO many reasons.

        Let’s start with the fact that, despite what many of the general public seem to think, we actually know how pyramids were built, by whom and why.

        Then let’s move on to the fact that the theories about space aliens building everything basically revolves around the premise that if modern white christian men didn’t do it, it must be aliens. Really. No one ever doubts who built the Empire State Building or Notre Dame.

  2. Nicholas Cage. I’ve learned to stay away from his movies these past few years. A shame because I really used to like him. Just how much debt did the man get himself into?

  3. I didn’t really like Knowing, but I didn’t hate it either…and yea the ending is too bizarre, it’s like 2001:A Space Odyssey, just throws you something you never expect.

    I don’t really want to judge a movie before it is over… but sometimes the plot gets so stale and dull I just stop watching completely… I think 2012 is one example…

    • This one lost me the minute the mumbling whisper aliens spoke to the boy. Why didn’t they just say something useful then instead of all the clue malarcky? Oye! 2012 was just so wildy implausible. It was ok if watched while your brain was switched off.

  4. @Ipodman I’m not into torture, so I say we forget them both and find something better to watch. There has to be something–like maybe a blank wall.

    • Lol. Nic Cage was awesome in Kick Ass tho (as a Batman look-alike) … although the movie on the whole wasn’t that impressive imo… :/

  5. I *KNOW*! Trying to figure out what on earth was going on throughout that freakin’ movie gave me a headache. And the ending was just plain stupid. There was no sense it in. (Obviously, I didn’t care for Knowing and I still don’t *Know* diddly-squat.)

    I loved The Rock (more for Sean Connery than Nicholas) and 60 Seconds became one my kids watched repeatedly. Every time it was on I couldn’t help but sit down and watch it again with them. 😉 I did like National Treasure, but I’m easily hooked on anything that has historical significance.

  6. Yes, KNOWING was such a let-down. I hate it when they set up something wonderful, and then it falls flat. Another one that let me donw recently was the new TRON remake. I still like it for the cool visuals, but honestly couldn’t they have come up with a better ‘Escape from New York’ premise than just heading for the portal and meeting bad programs?

  7. Oh no! I just bought that movie!

    I hadn’t opened the package yet. Should I take it back?

    Ref: aliens and pyramids.
    The whole franchise of Stargate was built on this premise and I thought it worked pretty well. What’s wrong with using local labor to do the construction?

    • I’m fine with mixing history, myth (even the Christian mythology) with aliens. It just needs to make sense and be consistent. What bugs me is mixing aliens at the last minute to try to fix a plot that doesn’t make sense. It’s like having kids to fix a marriage, it just makes things worse.
      I loved what you did in True Believers, with aliens coming to earth to look for their lost gods. Very well done. It is a major thread that runs through the story from beginning to end. With Knowing the aliens are a tiny string in the beginning that turns into a macramé plant holder at the end.
      I love the Stargate franchise, but have to say that the ending of the original movie was pretty goofy. And I could never figure out why on SG1 everyone in the universe spoke modern English. For a TV series you just have to ignore stuff like that. It was okay because SG1 never took itself too seriously.

  8. I hate riddle-speak. Star Wars fans may slay me, but Yoda drove me insane. Just spit it out, muppet! Yeah, Nicholas Cage has done some great stuff over the years, but man, has he been in some major bombs!
    You know the movie that started out very promising and ended on an idiotic alien note? The Abyss. I hated that movie with a passion!

    • <> LOL!

      I loved the Abyss, but hated the ending. Luckily, in the theatrical version the ending was kept reasonably short. I just do a mental “the end” as soon as Bud is safe. The director’s cut is atrocious though. Everything on my don’t do list dragged out for an extra twenty minutes. Ugh!

  9. Julia,

    OMG I DESPISED The Abyss! It’s nice to meet another hater. LOL To me, Nicholoas Cage’s high point was Raising Arizona. One of my top 5 favs ever.

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