10 unforgettable Firefly zingers.

The start of the new fall television season has made me a little nostalgic. Nostalgic for shows I wish were still in the line-up. At the top of the list has to be Firefly. The futuristic space western aired in September 2002 and was cancelled before the end of that first season. It was arguably one of the best written TV series of all time. So, join me in my trip down memory lane with ten of my favorite bits of Firefly dialog.

  1. Mal to the bandits:  “if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.”
  2. River to Jayne: “I can kill you with my brain.”
  3. River to Zoe about Book’s hair: “You see, the snow on the roof is too heavy, you see, the ceiling will cave in. His brains are in terrible danger.”
  4.  Zoe to Mal about River: “Sir, I know she’s unpredictable, but I don’t think she’d harm anyone.” And Jayne reminds them: “Butcher’s knife!” and Zoe says: “Anyone we can’t spare…”
  5. Jayne pretending to read from Simon’s journal: “Dear Diary, today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Dear Diary, today I was kidnapped by crazy settlers. It was the best day ever.”
  6. Mal about Constance: “I believe that woman’s planning to shoot me again.”
  7. Wash: “I’ve been in a firefight. Well, I was in a fire. Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity.”
  8. Wash about River: “Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science-fiction.” And Zoe’s reply: “We live in a spaceship, dear.”
  9. Mal to villagers about Jayne: “Y’all see the man hangin’ out of the spaceship with the really big gun? I’m not saying you weren’t easy to find, but it was kind of out of our way and he didn’t wanna come in the first place. Man’s lookin’ to kill some folk. So really it’s his will y’all should worry about thwarting.”
  10. And finally, there is a whole set of lines from Objects in Space that we will count as one:
    Jubal Early (about River): “Where’d she go?” And Simon replies: “I can’t keep track of her when she’s not incorporeally possessing a spaceship. Don’t look at me.”
    Mal to River: “How come there’s a guy on board and how come you’re all of a sudden the ship?”
    Simon to Jubal Early the bounty hunter: “Well, my sister’s a ship. We had a complicated childhood.”

There are tons more great lines from this one season wonder. Which ones are your favorites?