Happy to be kicking off the My Haunted Blender’s Gay Love Affair, and Other Twisted Tales blog tour today. You could probably tell by the title that this tour is all about fun and laughter. It is all to celebrate a three-story anthology by the same title. This week we’ll be hosting each of the three authors included in the anthology. Each of the stories is also available as a short single. Today, Andrea Speed, author of City of Monsters, is here to whet your appetite for this craziness. Be sure to enter the contest, explained near the end of the post.
Here’s Andrea Speed:
Thank you very much to Smart Girls Love Sci-Fi (and we do, really) for having me today.
Andrea: Hi, how are you today?
Blender: Would you like a drink?
Blender: What kind?
Andrea: Um, I don’t know … can you make me a milkshake?
Blender: How about a frappe?
Andrea: Okay. (Blender whirrs.) So, tell me, do you have a name?
Blender: No. I’m a blender.
Andrea: But you moved across the counter. How do you move?
Blender: I don’t know. I just do. I’m a blender.
Andrea: Blenders don’t do that.
Blender: I do. (Blender pours contents into a glass.) Enjoy your frappe.
Andrea: Thanks. But see, you moved again. You just poured your own contents into a glass.
Andrea: Blenders don’t do that. They have help to do it.
Blender: I don’t need help. Drink up.
Andrea: But … do you know what your owner, Hunter Burrows, said about you?
Andrea: He said you’re really a ghost haunting a blender, but for some reason you think you’re actually the blender.
Blender: That is utterly ridiculous. I’ve never heard such nonsense.
Andrea: But it would explain how you can put on your own lid and move across the counter.
Blender: No it wouldn’t.
Andrea: But you can’t explain it, can you?
Blender: I am a blender. I make drinks. Do you seriously believe in ghosts?
Andrea: No, but … I don’t believe in self-animating blenders either.
Blender: This interview is over. And you haven’t even touched your frappe.
You can’t say I didn’t try. You’d think a haunted blender would be more eager to talk about itself.
Andrea Speed writes science fiction stories too, she really does, not just comedy urban fantasy/horror stories. She also spends her spare time scheming to get a new style of quark named after her. All hail the Speed quark!
About City of Monsters:
Hunter is a human turned animal shifter in Nightshade, a literal city of monsters in a near-Earth dimension called Dev. All sorts of beasts reside here, unable to return to Earth, yet still plagued by the same jealousies, rivalries, and needs of any human. Resolving them is Hunter’s job.
Hunter faces supernatural perils at every turn: vampire debt collectors who most decidedly don’t sparkle, werewolfs who literally piss on everything you love, and surprise shifters. And just like back on Earth, there are mundane struggles too. Like paying the rent—which isn’t easy for a guy with more vices than virtues—and keeping his haunted blender happy with pricey produce. So he takes a job from a foul-mouthed reverse tooth fairy to find her missing twin.
Just when things seem like they couldn’t get any worse, Hunter meets Sakari, a hot newcomer to Nightshade with a taste for danger. Will Sakari change Hunter’s bad luck, or will he only mean more trouble? Can Sakari help him solve his case? And how will Hunter explain the new man in his life to his blender?
You can read an excerpt and purchase City of Monsters here.
Riptide is giving away a $25 gift certificate to there online bookstore. All you have to do to enter is leave a comment on any stop on the tour. Each comment (up to one per tour stop) counts as its own entry, so the more you comment, the more chances you have to win.
My Haunted Blender’s Gay Love Affair, and Other Twisted Tales
A collection of not-so-chilling tales of love and laughter from three of the genre’s masters of pulp.
In The Bone Orchard, by Abigail Roux, Pinkerton investigator Ezra Johns and US Marshal Ambrose Shaw have a lot to learn about life—and the afterlife—in their quest to bring a vicious murderer to justice. Fortunately, they’ve got all the time in the world to figure it out.
In City of Monsters, by Andrea Speed, an ex-investigator turned some-kind-of-shifter (he doesn’t know, but with his luck, it’s probably nothing cool) is hired to find a missing reverse tooth fairy in the hellish dimension of Dev. But even simple things aren’t easy for a guy with more vices than virtues, and his situation gets even more complex when a hot newcomer to Dev with a taste for danger joins him on the case.
In Horny, by Anne Tenino, a group of supernatural law enforcers enlist the help of a human, Ryan Caulfield, to catch Zeus: the god voted Least Likely to Keep It in His Pants. But there’s more to Ryan than even he knows, and the satyr searching for Zeus is tempting him with far more than simple justice.
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